Friday, February 16, 2018

In the Hot Seat: The 'Short' One In The Relationship

Not everyone feels comfortable being the shorter or taller person in a relationship especially if it goes against the stereotype that men should be taller than women. So for those people that don’t conform to the height stereotype in a relationship, how does it feel? Specifically, how does it feel to be the ‘short’ person? Do they own their shortness with pride or do some struggle with their lack of height?
Lifehack: How do you feel about the height stereotypes in relationships?
“Being short myself I firmly believe that the whole concept “men must be taller than women” should go. There may be evolutionary and social reasons why women usually look for the taller partners, but in the modern world height doesn’t necessarily translate into better personal qualities or any increased benefits. So it would be much better if the social stigma of reversed height couples will go away.”
Lifehack: How does it feel as a woman dating a shorter man?
“I’m 5’7 and I was with a man an inch or two shorter than me once and I never even realised until he pointed it out. But I do tend to prefer men around my height whereas I have friends taller than me who would feel awkward with a man shorter. My advice would be not to do what my bloke did and point it out. Even though he said it in a jokey way it was obvious that he had an issue with it which then made me feel awkward about it.”
“It doesn’t bother me although I tend to avoid wearing high heels more when I’m dating a shorter man maybe because sometimes it’s nice to not tower over your partner!”
Lifehack: How does it feel as a man dating a taller woman?
“My girlfriend is 9″ taller than me. She was the one that asked me out. I was actually shocked that she was interested in me. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now. The height difference is not a big deal. You just have to be confident about it.”
“My girlfriend is a good 1-2″ taller than me. Admittedly it was a bit weird when she would grab something from my cupboard that I couldn’t quite reach, and standing face to face I have to raise up a bit to kiss her. Other than that it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t care, and according to her, it’s cute. Everyone is different and if she makes a fuss over height, she isn’t worth it.”
“As a shorter man, I always believed I’d struggle with women or only be able to date women shorter than me. I used to feel a kind of lack and end up acting with more bravado and flashiness but I soon learned many women don’t care about height. At the end of the day, height isn’t an issue when love is involved.”
Lifehack: As a woman, have you always dated taller men?
“Yes mainly because I’d amassed a collection of subconscious prejudices connected with height. Was he going to have a Napoleon Complex? Would he be less confident, less at ease with himself and less successful than a man who stood up at six foot? Looking back, I think my problems were mainly to do with my own insecurities.”
Lifehack: Does being a ‘short’ man affect your self-confidence?
“As a 5″2 man, I rarely meet an adult male who is my height or shorter, although quite a few women are my height or slightly shorter. It is not a big deal. My wife is the same height as I am. And I have a successful enough career. I haven’t noticed my height being a restriction in these areas.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder


So, maybe it’s time to ditch the height stereotypes when it comes to dating. Our height isn’t something we can overly control and we all have preferences to being attracted to tall or short people. But society has a lot to answer for in terms of shaping the way we believe the height stereotype should be. After all, it’s more about the person than how they look. So if you’re on the shorter (or taller) side, own it and feel confident because it’s your confidence that will shine through in the end.

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